Current Mood: Scared

Hello again. Guess what, it is a good thing you came back to read today. I have another dirty little secret to share with you. You really should make sure nobody is around though, this is pretty hot, and well, it may cause your cock to get hard or your pussy to get wet and that would be hard to explain to anyone that doesn’t know you come here to get your dirty little fix with me.

I was used last night. Last night a man made me cry, not tears of pain, but tears of submission. He pushed me to the point that I wanted so badly to surrender to him, yet could not find the words or the actions to convey what I felt and all I could do was cry and hope he understood the language my tears were speaking.

I wanted to worship his cock so bad. All I could think about was that wonderful feeling of my head on his thigh, with his cock so near my face, touching my cheek, against my lips so that I could kiss it, and all I could do was close my eyes and try to memorize the moment, hoping that I could hold on to it for as long as possible, hoping I could etch each detail into my brain so that I would never lose that very moment. So that I’d always remember how I felt the moment that first tear fell down my cheek.

This man asked me a question I was afraid to answer. How ironic that is considering what the question was. He asked me what I was afraid of. There are so many little things I can say that I’m afraid of. I’m afraid of spiders, I’m afraid of canes, I’m afraid of serial killers and axe murders, but when I lay in bed at night, trying to fall asleep in my dark room, alone in my king size bed, there is one only one fear that truly paralyzes me. There is only one fear I have that I truly do not think I will ever get over. I’m afraid of never feeling what I felt with him last night on a regular basis. I’m afraid of never finding that Man that can make me feel that day in and day out and that will find me worthy enough to stay. I’m afraid of someone like him that can make me feel it being a one time thing and never letting me experience it with him again. I’m afraid of not being allowed to be the beautiful submissive I know I can be. I’m afraid that forever and always do not exist and that domination and surrender like I experienced last night are something that can only truly be experienced in fleeting moments.

And now… today I’m afraid of new things. I’m afraid I’ll never have my lips around his cock and never be able to truly show him the gratitude I feel for what he made me feel last night. I’m afraid I might not hear his voice again for too long. I’m afraid I’ll forget the tone and sound of his words when I cried for him and he told me I was an angel.

If you’re reading this I assume that you either understand the fears I speak of, or that you fantasize about feeling the same things I’m feeling. If that is the case then you hop
efully also understand that admitting to these fears, talking about them, are almost as erotic as feeling them, and that from the dirty, sluty masochistic side of my emotions, my pussy is soaking wet, I’m excited, wanton and needy merely because a Man has evoked these feelings in me. The control he has over me already is intoxicating it is what every submissive wants and needs to feel.

I hope that one day I can give as much to the people that come to me asking for it. That I can stir such feelings, evoke such fears and give as much during a power exchange to leave them feeling as I do today.

It’s a dirty little secret we shouldn’t talk about anywhere else you know. How exciting and arousing our worst fears can be. What are you afraid of? That question sent chills through my body last night and makes my body quiver this afternoon. So my dirty friends, what are you afraid of? It’s alright you can tell me, I am the dirtiest girl in the world you know.