Current Mood: Contemplative

Welcome back. I knew you’d be back soon. You just can’t help yourself can you? You just have to know what I’m writing about and what dirty little confessions I’m making today. It’s alright, turn out the lights, make sure nobody is around and enjoy yourself. However, tonight’s confession is a little macabre as it’s not really my confession, but someone else’s I am going to discuss.

So have you ever been in love? It’s strange how love in theory is such a wonderful and extraordinary feeling, but more often than not it ends badly. I’ve been in love several times myself; I’ve been in lust with someone even more often than that. Normally when I look back on my history with a guy that I was in love with, it fills me with one of three emotions, anger, sadness, or heartache. Love is one of those things that always begins well and always ends bad. The strange this is that it seems I’ve always been the one getting hurt. It always seems like the other party walks away fairly unscratched.

People always ask me why I’m single, why I don’t do relationships and why I’m so cautious about getting too involved with anyone….

Tonight I got an email, a confession from a man I used to date. For purposes of his privacy I shall refer to him as Mr. Holly-would. He’s an actor, and one dirty individual, I mean this guy tested my limits of dirtiness more times than I could tell you, and I can definitely say that he is at least half as dirty as I am! Because nobody can be as dirty as the Dirtiest Girl in the World: you’re favorite phone sex slut. Right? Of Course Right!

Mr Holly-would’s Confession is a little long, so I’ve posted it on its own page it is called ‘The One That Got Away’ and I hope you’ll take the time to read it. I think it is endearing to read this little story about how sorry he is he ever hurt me and why he couldn’t handle being in a relationship from me.

But reading it has brought up something I feel the need to confess. I still masturbate to thoughts of every Man I have ever been with; even the one’s that have broken my heart or where cruel to me. When I am alone and I’m not taking a call, and I am just masturbating for my own pleasure and amusement, I still fantasize about Men from my past. I imagine the time’s I sucked their cock, or feel asleep with my face buried in the ass giving them a rim job. I fantasize about the times that they fucked me and some of the hours and hours long sex marathon sessions we had together. I fantasize about times they played with me, whipping me, beating me, spanking me, and flogging me. I fantasize about the times they were gentle with me, loving and sweet, looking deep into my eyes as they fucked me.

I think everything I mentioned there is something that requires another whole confession! So I will put all those things on my list. But for tonight I confess that I still masturbate over all the men that have ever been in my life. I wonder if that is natural or if I’m just some dirty freaky girl that can’t forget anything that has to do with sex. What do you guys think? Do you still jerk off to thoughts of past loves? I bet Mr Holly-would still jerks off to me!